


The Pants Song

by waterwhosleepwho



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Chatting & Messaging, Cuban Lance (Voltron), F/F, F/M, Gay Keith (Voltron), Group chat, Hunay, Idiots in Love, M/M, Multilingual Character, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Romllura, Shadam, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Texan Keith (Voltron), Texting, adashi, chat fic, coran never charges his phone, klance, multilingual Keith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24409789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterwhosleepwho/pseuds/waterwhosleepwho
Summary: A Klance texting fic with a little bit of a plot. This is just me messing around so don't expect much lol. Any language other than English was put through Google Translate. Sorry if it's not accurate.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Allura/Romelle (Voltron), Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

Pidge stared at the essay they really didn't feel like doing and groaned. Their eyes travelled ti their phone. They stared at that for a moment before tossing their laptop to the side and picking up their phone. They hesitated for a moment. 

They loved their internet friends dearly but they were all quite different. Sure some if them may get along, but would they all? Keith doesn't really like people all that much....

Before they could overthink it anymore, Pidge quickly put all of her friends into a group chat. Let's hope this goes well.


	2. Chapter 2

pidgeot has created a group chat

pidgeot has added Sharpshooter, gordonramsey, spacedad, aDaM, knifeboi, coranic, and Princess to group chat

pidgeot has renamed the group chat: sTaHP I almost dropped my croissant

knifeboi: what. the. fuck

Sharpshooter: um, what is going on

gordonramsey: lance?

Sharpshooter: hunk?

aDaM: what's with the names?

pidgeot: that's what ur all saved as in my phone

spacedad: Why is this my name?

knifeboi: oh shut up Shiro. u know that ur the dad

spacedad: You're grounded

aDaM: babe, u aren't helping ur case

spacedad: hush

Princess: wtf

Princess: i walk away from my phone for five minutes

Princess: and this happens

pidgeot: hehe sry

Princess: that's alright Pidge

coranic: why don't we all introduce ourselves

coranic: I'll go first. hi. my name is coran and I'm a college professor

Sharpshooter: what up. my name is Jared, I'm nineteen, and I never fuckin learned how to read

knifeboi: oh my god

gordonramsey: come on lance

Sharpshooter: fine. my real name is lance and I'm a senior and a kid's swim instructor

pidgeot: u all know me but im pidge. im a sophomore and i hack into the governments satellite dishes for fun

knifeboi: do u know whats at area 51

pidgeot: yes

knifeboi: sweet

knifeboi: anyway im keith im a senior and i don't have a job

spacedad: My name is Shiro, I'm a junior in college and I work part time at Allura's family's coffee shop

aDaM: im adam and literally same as shiro

Princess: my name is Allura im also a junior in college and I work with my family at our coffee shop

gordonramsey: hi! my name is hunk! im a senior and i work part time at my uncle's restaurant

knifeboi: great. now we know each other. im gonna take a nap

Sharpshooter: it's basically midnight

pidgeot: by nap he meant he's gonna binge watch buzzfeed unsolved until dawn

knifeboi: i didn't ask for this kind if exposure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hole you like it! I still plan on updating all my other stories, dw. Also I have the ages like this:
> 
> Lance: 18
> 
> Keith: 17
> 
> Hunk: 18
> 
> Pidge: 16
> 
> Shiro: 23
> 
> Adam: 23
> 
> Allura: 24
> 
> Coran: 32


	3. Chapter 3

Sharpshooter: food is expensive

aDaM: where's the lie

gordonramsey: ur not wrong but y r u sharing

Sharpshooter: cause i can

pidgeot: it is 3 am. Y r u awake

knifeboi: y r u awake

pidgeot: i don't sleep

Princess: sleep is for the weak

knifeboi: ha

knifeboi: same

Sharpshooter: where did she go

coranic: she typed that message and then passed out on the couch

knifeboi: also same

gordonramsey: r u ok keith?

knifeboi: not in the slightest y

pidgeot: honestly me

Sharpshooter: yea we know

spacedad: GO

spacedad: TO

spacedad: BED

knifeboi: make me

spacedad: i am this close from going up to ur room

knifeboi: i have a knfie collection

knifeboi: try me bitch

Sharpshooter: hold up

Sharpshooter: u have a knife collection?

knifeboi: yea

coranic: is that y u don't have a job

knifeboi: that might be a part of it

knifeboi: but it's mostly the tats

spacedad: im putting u all on mute

Sharpshooter: t a t t o o s

knifeboi: yea?

pidgeot: hehehe

gordonramsey: what?

pidgeot: i know what's going on w laaance

Sharpshooter: shut ur face

gordonramsey: oh u mean the tats thing?

gordonramsey: yea so do i

Sharpshooter: b e t r a y a l

knifeboi: riiiight

knifeboi: imma go to bed now

knifeboi is offline

gordonramsey: did anyone else notice that adam just dropped off the face of the earth or smth

pidgeot: oh shit u rite

aDaM: i was summoned

coranic: ???

aDaM: ignore me im sleep deprived and my blood is made of coffee

pidgeot: a whole ass mood

gordonramsey: ok then

gordonramsey: im gonna head to bed

gordonramsey: u guys should too

pidgeot: nah. im trying to hack nasa


	4. Chapter 4

knifeboi: im pissed

Princess: y

knifeboi: my bike broke down

knifeboi: and im missing one of the parts i need to fix it

knifeboi: u g h

Sharpshooter: bike?

pidgeot: bitch u built that motorcycle urself

pidgeot: don't call it a b i k e

knifeboi: ok????

gordonramsey: lance just screeched and dropped his phone what happened

pidgeot: scroll up

gordonramsey: oh

gordonramsey: ha lance is so screwed

Sharpshooter: i hate u all

spacedad: all of you should be in class

knifeboi: im in class dw

spacedad: ...

mattais: im WHEEZING

aDaM: same

aDaM: keith i raised u rite

knifeboi: aye

spacedad: PAY ATTENTION

Sharpshooter: nah

Princess: oh he's back

Sharpshooter: miss me? ;)

princess: no

pidgeot: im CrYInG

Sharpshooter: shut it gremlin

Sharpshooter changed pidgeot's name to gremlin

gremlin: bitch

spacedad: LANGUAGE

knifeboi: spanish, korean, english, or japanese

knifeboi: take ur pick

spacedad: ....grounded

knifeboi: ur not my dad

spacedad: keith kogane

knifeboi: gotta go

knifeboi is offline

mattais: oooh he broke out the full name

Sharpshooter: hold on

Sharpshooter: kogane?

spacedad: yea???

Sharpshooter: fuck

Sharpshooter is offline

aDaM: ????

gordonramsey: he'll be fine

gordonramsey: hey where's coran?

Princess: his phone is dead but he's been reading the messages over my shoulder

mattais: hi coran!

Princess: he says hello


	5. Chapter 5

Sharpshooter: i have questionsssssss

mattais: don't we all

Sharpshooter: fuc off bitch im running this show

gordonramsey: wow....

Sharpshooter: that was unnecessarily rood sry matt

mattais: nah ur good

spacedad: what was your question lance?

Sharpshooter: mullet said that he has tats, right?

knifeboi: yea y

gremlin: HEARD THAT U WERE TALKING SHIT-

aDaM: im CrYInG

Sharpshooter: shut up hobgoblin

Sharpshooter: dont u have to be 16 and have parent permission?

knifeboi: yea but i was 15 and shiro's mom didnt know

spacedad: our mom keith

Sharpshooter: then how the fuc did u get one

knifeboi: i have abt 3 so far and the tattoo artist didn't know that i wasn't 18

Sharpshooter: oh ok

knifeboi: y do u care. Also don't call me mullet

gremlin: how do u even know what he looks like

Sharpshooter: i was guessing

gremlin: uh huh

Princess: fuck off im trying to sleep

gordonramsey: it's 1 pm?????

Princess: ok and

gordonramsey: i mean alright

coranic: ajegrjdi

Sharpshooter: r u ok?

coranic: oh yes im fine i was just reading up on cool things

coranic: i believe that is a keyboard smash?

knkfeboi: I-

mattais: glad u like the article! i have more if u want them

Sharpshooter: matt y

mattais: i enjoy watching katie suffer

gremlin: fuc u /mattais/

mattais: blocked

knifeboi: heh

mattais: what r u laughing at mullet

knifeboi: i will stab u

mattais: i retract my previous question

knifeboi: wise decision

spacedad: keith what did i say abt threatening ppl?

knifeboi: tbh i don't remember

knifeboi: there's a good chance i wasn't paying attention to u

aDaM: daaaaaaaaamn

gremlin: keith rlly out here throwing shade

Princess: i legit snorted

Sharpshooter: moooooood

coranic: very lit, my boi!!

knifeboi: i-

knifeboi left the chat

gremlin added knifeboi to the chat

knifeboi: damnit

gordonramsey: there is no escape

gordonramsey: there is only pie

mattais: i want pie

gremlin: no

mattais: ):

gremlin: succ it


	6. Chapter 6

knifeboi: hey pidge did u ever end up hacking nasa?

gremlin: yea, i know what's in area 51 now

knifeboi: i wanna knowwwwwww

aDaM: ur such a child keith

knifeboi: shove it /adam/

aDaM: rude...

Sharpshooter: rood*

aDaM: right, my bad

spacedad: i swear to GOD

spacedad: ALL OF YOU

spacedad: GO

spacedad: TO BED

spacedad: it is 2:45 IN THE MORNING

knifeboi: ur point?

spacedad: keith

spacedad: keITH

spacedad: KEITH

spacedad: GO TO BED

knifeboi: shit he mad, I'm out

knifeboi is offline

aDaM: so, lance wanna tell us what's been going on w u?

Sharpshooter: whatever do u mean

aDaM: bitch don't even

aDaM: ive had five cups of coffee

aDaM: i will spam ur ass w no hesitation

Sharpshooter: ugh fine

gordonramsey: holy shit he's gonna spill

gremlin: /what the fuuuck/

Sharpshooter: u know what, never mind

mattais: wait no

mattais kicked gremlin and gordonramsey out of the group

mattais: now spill

Sharpshooter: ok fine

Sharpshooter: i knida sorta maybe know keith irl????

Sharpshooter: and it's a little weird bc we used to hate each other

aDaM: y?

Sharpshooter: it was kinda my fault

Sharpshooter: he was always better at shit than me and I got jealous and made up some rivalry

Sharpshooter: but then we stopped having classes together and the rivalry and my jealousy kinda dissapeared

gremlin: and that's the tea

mattais: tf i kicked u out

gremlin: it's my damn chat bitch

Sharpshooter: anyways, it also doesn't help that i have a thing for tats and motorcycles

Sharpshooter: and keith BUILT HIS???? LIKE WTF????

Princess: sooooo....what im reading is u like keith

Sharpshooter: idk yet

Sharpshooter: im still figuring that out

aDaM: ok, well we all support u no matter what

Sharpshooter: thx adam

Sharpshooter: now im gonna make sure keith sees none of this

Sharpshooter deleted 29 messages

Sharpshooter is offline

gremlin: dont worry guys

gremlin: i have screenshots

Princess: kween

gordonramsey: u have brownies in ur future

gremlin: fucc yea


	7. Chapter 7

knifeboi: y tf did y'all delete messages??

knifeboi: that's hella suspicious

gremlin: YaLl

knifeboi: succ a dicc

spacedad: Keith!

knifeboi: present

spacedad: u know what?

spacedad: fuck it

spacedad: do what u want

spacedad: idc anymore

spacedad is offline

knifeboi: shit

Sharpshooter: what's up w him

knifeboi: idk I'll ask

knifeboi is offline

gordonramsey: adam?

aDaM: hm?

gordonramsey: do u know what's wrong w shiro?

aDaM: maybe

Sharpshooter: fix this shit

aDaM: it's kinda my fault

aDaM: i'll try tho

aDaM is offline

mattais: hot dam

gremlin kicked mattais out of the group

Sharpshooter: now is not the time for pjo references 

knifeboi is online

knifeboi: im dying adam's hair pink

knifeboi: cause he's a little bitch

gremlin: i wanna help

gordonramsey: is shiro ok?

knifeboi: ur welcome to help

knifeboi: and we'll see

knifeboi: he and adam r talking atm

Sharpshooter: what happened?

knifeboi: idk if shiro wants to share that info, sry

gordonramsey: not a problem

gordonramsey: im making cookies

knifeboi: nice


	8. Chapter 8

aDaM: hes ok for rn

gordonramsey: open the door i have cookies

aDaM: aw hell yes

gremlin: keith do u have the stuff or should i bring some over

knifeboi: i have it

gremlin: sweet

aDaM: wtf r u talking abt

knifeboi: u know what u did

knifeboi changed aDaM's name to littlebitch

littlebitch: id be upset but this is fair

knifeboi: damn straight

Sharpshooter: damn bi*

knifeboi: bitch im gay

gremlin changed knifeboi's name to gaybitch

gaybitch: i accept

Princess changed Princess's name to ithoughtuwereamerican

Sharpshooter: allura i love u

ithoughtyouwereamerican: im gay tho so......

Sharpshooter: :(

gremlin changed Sharpshooter's name to depressedbi

depressedbi: bitch-

spacedad: watch ur language guys

gaybitch: fuck shit pussy ass motherfucker damn bitch

spacedad: grounded

depressedbi: i-

depressedbi: u have tik tok

depressedbi: keith had tik tok

gaybitch: suddenly i am jared 19

depressedbi: this is the best day of my life

spacedad: lance ur grounded 

depressedbi: what y

spacedad: for encouraging him

spacedad: and ty for the cookies hunk

gordonramsey: np! :)

depressedbi: an angel

mattais: and angle

depressedbi changed mattais's name to mathbitch

gaybitch: ew i dont wanna be associated w that

gaybitch changed mathbitch's name to mathcunt

mathcunt: ........thx

gaybitch: anytime man

coranic: i heard that @ spacedad has been upset!

coranic: r u ok?

spacedad: yea we worked it out

spacedad: it was just a big misunderstanding

spacedad: everyone overreacted a little

spacedad: but we're ok now

gremlin: that's good

gaybitch: the operation is still happenening

gremlin: :)

aDaM: should i be scared?

aDaM: im scared

gremlin: good


	9. Chapter 9

gaybitch: how mad do u think shiro would be if i punched a guy in game stop

littlebitch: keith did you punch someone

gaybitch: me? never

gremlin: lmaoooooo what did they do

gaybitch: well this man that i didn't punch kept going on abt the gay pride pin i had on my bag and then he also started firing off racial and homophobic slurs so if i did happen to punch him it was his own fault

spacedad: keith you punched someone

gaybitch: my hand slipped

depressedbi: UR HAND SLIPPED LMAOOOO

ithoughtyouwereamerican: is he still at game stop? i wanna hit him too

spacedad: allura!

ithoughtyouwereamerican: no

littlebitch: babe u cant be mad at him, the guy was an ass

spacedad: im not mad, i just wanna know if he got kicked out of the store

spacedad: cause ill be having words with the store if he did

gaybitch: ha no the guy behind the counter was trans and he was being harassed before i came in so he gave me a free plushy and promised to delete the security footage

gordonramsey: im making u cookies, did he say anything that upset u?

gaybitch: ty

gaybitch: nah im not upset

mathcunt: keith bud, im not rying to out u but u had to call me to pick u up bc u were upset

gaybitch: ok yea, having slurs thrown in my face doesn't feel great but at the end of the day i dont give two shits abt what some random guy thinks abt me

gordonramsey: guys lance just walked out of my house

gordonramsey: idk where hes going

gremlin: ah shit gimme a sec

ithoughtyouwereamerican: did he take his phone?

gordonramsey: yea

ithoughtyouwereamerican: just spam @ him

ithoughtyouwereamerican: @ depressedbi

littlebitch: @ depressedbi

mathcunt: @ depressedbi

gordonramsey: @ depressedbi

gremlin: @ depressedbi

spacedad: @ depressedbi

coranic: @ depressedbi

gordonramsey: hes not answering im worried

gaybitch: lance where tf did u go

depressedbi: the plan is to go to every game stop within 3 hours and find the asshole that upset u

gaybitch: lance im fine go back to hunks house

depressedbi changed depressedbi's name to jared (19)

gaybitch: bitch

jared (19): no❤️

gremlin: could u guys flirt somewhere else

gaybitch: i was not flirting or being flirted with so shut

gremlin: u were totally flirting and he was totally flirting w u

gaybitch: doubt

gremlin: stfu

gaybitch: u can't make me

gremlin changed gaybitch's name to flirtedwlance

flirtedwlance: y cant i change it

gremlin: (:

flirtedwlance: i fucking hate u


	10. Chapter 10

gordonramsey changed gordonramsey's name to ihatematt

ihatematt: i hate matt

mathcunt changed mathcunt's name to IMSORRY

IMSORRY: I SAID SORRY EIGHT (8) TIMES

ihatematt: sorry isn't enough

jared(19): woah woah woah wtf did you do to my best friend ratt?

flirtedwlance: heh ratt

IMSORRY: i didn't mean toooooooooo

ihatematt: you cant undo your crimes

jared(19): JAIL FOR RATT

gremlin: not that im complaing but why r we sending mattais to jail

IMSORRY: thats not my name you hobgoblin

ihatematt: he said he would get me the baking stuff i needed and then forgot :((((((

flirtedwlance: yea ur going to jail

IMSORRY: IM AT THE STORE RN

ihatematt: :)

jared(19): hm u can stay now ig

gremlin: but ur on thin ice

IMSORRY: okokok

jared(19) changed ihatematt's name to sweetsummerchild

flirtedwlance: has anyone ever told you that ur weird

jared(19): u trying to say smth mullet

flirtedwlance: istg lance

gremlin: *username intensifies*

flirtedwlance: sleep w one eye open

gremlin: jokes on u i dont sleep

spacedad: pidge please sleep

gremlin: :)

spacedad: i don't trust that don't do that

ithoughtyouwereamerican: off topic but did lance ever find the guy that upset keith

jared(19): no :(

flirtedwlance: i told u to stop looking lance

jared(19): does my username mean nothing to u

flirtedwlance: srsly just leave it alone lance im fine

flirtedwlance: idk y u even care

sweetsummerchild: oh no

jared(19): ...u don't know why i care

jared(19): why the fuck wouldnt i care keith

flirtedwlance: do i even have to answer that

jared(19): yes bc i want to know in what world someone treating u like that is ok

flirtedwlance: obviously its not "ok" lance im not an idiot

jared(19): then give me one good reason that i shouldnt be trying to shove that guys foot down his own throat

flirtedwlance: bc its not that big of a fucking deal lance

flirtedwlance: so what my feelings got hurt boo hoo

flirtedwlance: ill get the fuck over it im not a child

jared(19): u dont have to be a kid to have emotions keith! god ur always like this

flirtedwlance: like what?? how the fuck would you know what im like weve never meet

jared(19): like this!! all lone wolf i dont have feelings i can do everything myself!! u do it at school and u do it here and i can pretty much gurentee that u havent told ur brother abt james

flirtedwlance: what the fuck

flirtedwlance: how do u even know abt that

jared(19): thats not the point. the point is that u have friends who care abt u and u acting like they have no reason to is upsetting

spacedad: keith what is lance talking abt? whats happening with james?

flirtedwlance: nothing!

jared(19): yea nothing, thats real convincing

flritedwlance: Fuck off.

flirtedwlance is offline

spacedad: we'll talk abt this later lance

spacedad is offline

littlebitch: keith is kinda upset so imma sign off for now

littlebitch: both parties could've handled that better but i get where u were coming from lance

littlebitch: but theres a certain way that u have to approach keith w these things

jared(19): ik. i went too far. i shouldve dmed him

littlebitch: talk to him abt it tmrw. he'll spiral if u go radio silent

jared(19): ok

littlebitch is offline

sweetsummerchild: lance come over we're making keith cookies

gremlin: hes lactose intolerant and hates raisens

sweetsummerchild: ty pidge

gremlin: np

jared(19): omw


End file.
